I'm not really sure how we got here. The double digit months? Where did this year go? I thought I was soaking up every ounce of baby that I could but yet this stage is nearing the end and I keep finding myself at grasping at the moments as they slip by ever so quickly. I want to remember his chubby little thighs and his gummy smile, the way he is always searching for a hand to help him walk, the way his eyes light up when he sees someone he loves, the way that only I can calm him down in the middle of the night. Pretty soon, he won't feel like he needs me anymore. Not like this anyway. Pretty soon, he won't want to sit in my lap while he plays with his toys or need me to hold his hands while he walks and walks and walks. It's such a struggle, such a fine line, between wanting to indulge his need for attention and encouraging him to do it on his own. I want him to need me sometimes just as much as I might need some space. But soon, I will have too much space